Inappropriate noises

I have a semi-office, meaning it's a glorified cubicle with tall walls and a door - though not quite tall enough to reach the ceiling, it still offers a false sense of privacy. I can't see anyone from my little beige kingdom. In fact, I've never seen the guy who sits next to me, but I know from overhearing his phone calls that he just moved into a new apartment, he talks to his mom at least twice a week, and he has rearranged his social calendar several times to accommodate last minute crises at work.

So while I can't see anyone, I can hear every little rustle, cough and phone call of the five people sitting around me. That means, presumably, that they can also hear me. That's not really a problem, because although I love to talk, I still don't know anyone here so I spend 97% of my day completely silent.

I've done two things in the last two days to break that silence in an embarrassing way. They both involve Jenny, so I'm blaming her and charging her with any therapy I might undergo as a result. Yesterday there was some sort of celebration that involved snacks and drinks, which naturally drew people out of their dreary offices into the common area. I wandered out of my office and got caught up in a discussion about moist meat panties. At the time it was very interesting but when I walked the 12 feet back into my office I realized that everyone sitting nearby had probably heard my analysis of the topic. And since I've said almost nothing since I've gotten here, they might very well think that is all I talk about.

The second thing happened today. After a crazy week I finally had some down time this afternoon, so I perused the blogosphere, as the kids do these days. I stumbled onto Jenny's blog and immediately remembered that it's quite funny. In fact, I actually started to laugh but then tried to stifle it (after all, I can't be the girl who talks about meat panties AND sits alone in her office laughing) so it came out like some sort of snort-ish/giggling/yawning noise.

All is not lost though. In case I resort to doing hard-core drugs to hide my social awkwardness, I just found out that a 30-day stint in rehab is covered by my health insurance.